Sometimes I just don't get it...

My colleagues and I always get a kick out of the fact that when a woman calls us seeking assistance on behalf of a boyfriend; she always refers to him as her fiancé, whether or not there has actually been a marriage proposal. When I meet the “fiancé” at the detention facility where I work, I inevitably learn that the couple has been together for several years but have never wed, and probably never will. I then wonder whether I have lost touch of what this word means, or whether women use the term with me believing that I am more likely to take sympathy, and represent him in his deportation case, if she is his fiancée.  I suppose I can’t blame them for trying. They certainly seem genuinely dedicated to helping their man and that is a great asset to have.

On the other hand, it consistently baffles me when a family member spends an inordinate amount of time trying to convince me of how very busy he is, and how he may not be able to assist in collecting the supporting documents I need to mount a defense on the relative’s behalf. I just don’t get this. Do such people believe that deportation is not really possible? Or do they simply not care? I have certainly had family members who contact me in tears after a relative has been ordered removed to ask what more “we” can do, and whether this or that paperwork or witness might not help the case. When I tell them it’s too late, and ask where they were when I was repeatedly seeking their assistance, they sound dumbfounded. What is more, even when I do give a clear explanation that removal proceedings present a concrete risk, it's obvious that this news is still insufficient to motivate certain relatives to get involved in the matter. Thus I’ve come to believe that some loved ones do not truly comprehend that the threat of deportation is real.

Other times, it would appear that there are people who naively believe that we lawyers can defend an individual without any outside help, which leads me to conclude that there is a serious misunderstanding about what it is that attorneys do. First of all, we do not perform magic as I often tell my own clients. We apply the relevant law to a set of facts with which we are presented, and make arguments that benefit our client based on the law and the facts. While we must often be creative and determined, we cannot change the facts, and in order to prove our points, we need evidence. That evidence must come from our client and others who are material to the matter, either in the form of testimony or documentation. And when a client is detained, as mine mostly are, we must call upon family and friends to help retrieve the information that our client cannot access from jail. For example, we need names, phone numbers, and addresses. In my field, we also need birth certificates, “green cards” and naturalization certificates, which we do not have the ability to independently obtain. And the list goes on and on. I’d like to think that if one of my family members were ever in a legal predicament as serious as one involving arrest and detention, I would move earth and sky to cooperate in his or her defense. But, as I’ve learned, this sentiment is not always shared by others.

I clearly recognize that some families may be completely fed up with a relative’s behavior. After all, my clients have generally been convicted of a crime, and many times, several crimes, and then they are subject to deportation. I remember a woman I once called at her detained boyfriend’s insistence, and she reacted quite strongly to my request for help. “The only time that ‘s.o.b.’ calls me is when he’s in trouble and I’m just sick and tired of it. I could care less if they deport him.” I certainly understood her position and assured her that I did not expect her help. From what she candidly explained to me, it was obvious that she had been on the losing end of the relationship for several years, and I agreed with her that it was time to move on. Similarly, in another case, my client had ten siblings and not a single one showed up at his trial to show the court they cared about the outcome. Less than half of them had taken the time to even write a letter of support. While I never asked directly, it wasn't difficult to realize that the family had been addressing their brother’s “behavioral” issues (and there were quite a few), including a severe drug addiction, for many, many years. Perhaps they’d simply reached the end of their rope and believed that deportation wouldn’t be so harmful to him. I hope they were correct because he was, indeed, deported.

However, I also recall when a Jamaican mother from the New York City area brought a full van load of church members up to Batavia, some 400 miles away, to support her son’s efforts to remain in the U.S. The immigration judge was clearly impressed by this broad show of support. When he granted the man relief from removal, the courtroom erupted in a unanimous “hallelujah,” and a few “praise the Lord.” In another matter, eight members of a handsome and close-knit Guyanese family arrived at the court in Batavia to testify on behalf of their brother and affirm that he was a kind, caring and helpful person despite his isolated criminal act. And each of them was dressed impeccably for the occasion: suits and ties and dresses, as it should be. For some reason, believe it or not, it is not always obvious to people that one should dress formally to attend court. I was once told about a young man who turned up for a hearing wearing a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf on it. A kindly lawyer in the waiting room suggested to him that it would be wise to turn the shirt inside-out before entering the courtroom.

The role of family and loved ones in the types of cases that I handle can be critical and can never be underestimated. For this reason, I'm so troubled when there is a lack of cooperation for no apparent reason. I'm grateful, though, that the absence of support is an exception and not the rule. Most families, particularly mothers, wives and "fiancees," tend to go well out of their way to help the men in their lives when thet are in removal proceedings. Many must even find rides from neighbors, friends or others who own decent, reliable vehicles to make the eight hour trip from a New York City borrough up to Western New York. An especially charming Dominican mother once called me frantically at 8AM from the State Thruway to explain that her nephew's older model car had broken down on the way to Batavia for her son's 1PM hearing. She then called me every half hour or so to keep me apprized of whether the car had yet been towed, the necessary part located, and of the progress of the required repair. In the end, she never made it for the hearing. She called me in tears when she realized she would not get there on time for her son's "moment of truth." During the trial, I explained all of the mother's efforts to the judge, who was sympathetic and noted on the record her sincere attempt to be present in order to testify. Fortunately, the car was repaired by late afternoon, and both the mother and the cousin were there to greet my client when he was ultimately released from custody.

Not so long ago, a pro bono attorney explained to me how her client's mother, sister and brother-in-law had left their home in Missouri in the early hours of the previous morning to drive all the way to Batavia to testify on behalf of a Mexican man who'd suffered from a drinking problem which led to an arrest. The humble brother-in-law, who had worked in the fields side-by-side with her client for many years, testified that the man had always been praised by employers for his hard work, and that he would undoubtedly be re-hired by the grower if he returned to the town where the family lived. Moreover, stated the brother-in-law solemnly, he himself would take responsibility to ensure that his relative never again indulged in alcohol. The client was granted relief and released to make the two day drive home with his caring family.